Thursday, October 05, 2006

School sure was long.
The whole school didn't had school today because its Marking Day. Only the graduating classes had to return to that dreaded building to receive torment for 6 hours, but for our class, 8 hours.
We went through papers today for chemistry. Mdm Haliza was teaching, everyone listening like tamed doggies. No updates on study leave yet but I sure hope we get ours.
The retarded thing that happened today was that we were given recess, and the canteen only had a lonely shop that was opened. Ever enthusiastic and cheerful was that auntie at the counter. However, there was only one dish on the menu. Bee Hoon.
The auntie was generous though, she gave a lot, or in actual fact, a plate of bee hoon enough to feed a village of 30! Or so it seemed. Then we had an extended Social Studies lesson. The teacher bought us chicken+fish+chilli+cucumber+'some wierd brown thing (not faeces)+rice. That would cause some food jam down your oesophagus (gullet). She bought a few packets of those for everyone except the malays. By the way, she is not racist, the malays were fasting. So I finished only half a packet to avoid a jam along oesophagus expressway.

Ok, but now, its the time for a the specific segments i wan to talk about, so here goes...


MUM'S DEMANDS
Prelim results for me was a huge improvement compared to my mid-years which I scored a threatening 32 points. Prelims, I got a 20 which allowed me to get into a JC (junior college). Not everyone gets into a JC. Some people die to get into a JC, and I managed to achieve the cut off point into a JC. My mum always wanted me to get good results. So, she'll trick me like a 3-year old, saying "Ok, If you get good results at the end of the year, I will buy for you: (what I would always ask here for)" Well, guess what? They never become reality. Well, most of the time. She would always 'bribe' me with materialistic stuff to brainwash my lack of determination. You know, I would go to church almost everyday to study and to use the computer.I suffer the agony of not having a computer at home, and that led to desperate measures of using the church's facilities. My mum wouldn't want to repair the computer that is collecting dust and housing bugs at home. So I always resort to church, and come home late because I do almost everything there. Last night I returned home at 11.30pm. Mum was pissed, I was tired, Colin was sleeping. I had a quick shower and entered the room where all of us would rest. Then, my mum questioned me, raising her voice after every sentence. I replied all her questions and soon she started shouting. Colin woke up feeling rather frustrated, since he was already fast asleep before my mum's castigation. "Tomorrow, I want you to give me a timetable of what you do in church and give me your pastor's number." Why budge into my study-life? I mean I did well for my prelims and that was what you wanted. Making matters worst, she wanted my pastor's number. I already gave her the good results that she longed for. Then she told me that good results is for me and not for her. "?!?!" I do not even need certificates! I want to make music for God and that does not require ay qualifications! Maybe just passion. And she just ignore the fact that I got my good results after going to church and studying, just for her. At least I don't commit illegal offenses and then come home late at night. I come home late bacause I was studying! Can you see the irony?!?!?

Why does mum not cherish me?
I sometimes wonder how she would feel if she had other people as her children. Like those that rebel and also land up as a dropout or something. She never appreciate the things I do. I don't smoke, drink, get into relationships, steal, swear, get into fights, smuggle drugs. And furthermore, I am qualified to get into a JC! Isn't that what all mothers want for their children? And she makes a scene just because I come home late. Oh Please!
Mum has made me cry to sleep a million times. And I would always ask myself "Why does mum not appreciate me?"
Usually, they want, they get, then they want more.

"Am I that bad?"....

1st 3 months
Oh no. So, I got 20 for my prelims, but I can only get into the lousier JCs. I don't even thing if I should enter JC for my first 3 months, cuz I don't want to make any bonds with any other schools besides Meridian which I am hoping to enter. But, all my JC friends say that the 1st 3 months is important. I am really between two decisions now... ARGH!!!!!

JC... or not....?
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Well, I guess everyone has their own struggles and their own problems...
If life was really without problems, then God wouldn't have to exist. Or should I say, then God can forget about men ever turning to Him for help.
I thank God for problems that I can handle and I guess God always has his ways of moulding, teaching and surprising us la!
So.. Cheerio!

Hehheh...
Life still rocks...

-Jarrold.... =)

--- 16:17